Dear Nintendo: You Suck.

By the way..whoever voted Wii in our poll will be castrated.
Note: This is an Editorial from SealedFate. In no way will this rant affect the fair judgement of any upcoming Wii games we may or may not cover. -ChaoticUnion.

Nintendo, first and foremost, you suck. To me, and actual gamers the Wii was Nintendo's white flag of surrender. They gave in because they knew the Gamecube and its associated software would never win over any older or more serious gamers. Mario Kart and super mario and all his associated shovelware putrid placenta-covered off-spawn Nintendo would shit out to milk us all wouldn't enslave us forever. We're smart enough to know this is all you've got: first party rehashes that dont change much from their last "respawn". Dribble folks, dribble. I'll admit, Super Mario Galaxy is THE successful successor to Super Mario 64. I was a fan, and it brought back memories to me when playing this gleeful color-drenched newgrowth. My review of that game will go up some day, and its actually entertaining to me.

But the average score of all reviewed Wii games on IGN was a 5.5. Over 300 games shoveled at the system, and an epic fail comes out the other end. We can all throw shiz at the wall and watch one of them eventually stick, but it makes a bad name for whatever you're representing. Its like religion, when you pray and something goes your way, its all because of God's glory, but 90% of the rest of the time, when the shit keeps hitting the fan, its because you're not good enough, didnt pray enough..etc, but im veering a bit off topic.

Nintendo does not deserve to be winning this video game generation. A console that doesnt even display in high definition...in the high definition era, coupled with a great selection of shitty Mahjong and Solitare featuring waggle controls appeals to two groups: suburban mom's and their families who sit at home and have affairs with their husbands, and douchebags. Apparently the sane remainder of the human population seem to be vastly outnumbered.

Ive been bottling this up for a while Nintendo, and even though this post was a tad bid coerced from my "boss" aptly dubbed ChaoticUnion, which is a nice title for our friendship IRL with our blog posters, you had this one coming. Nintendo, you are scum, I hope your corporate headquarters gets razed by a fanatic group of Neo-Nihilists that find it in their hearts to rid the earth of the scum that is you. The Wii is not a video game system, it's a little white box little girls can waggle their plastic nin-ten-dicks at while they imaginarily bake.

Fuck you Nintendo, Fuck you.

In other news..Sony claims the Xbox 360 is "overpriced" and against the cohesiveness of the greater atmosphere of one's theater system. Right Sony, it seems that every time im passing through my room, that Xbox just ALLWAYS seems to get in my way, god damn sony, you had it right all along, you priced ur original console at 600 bucks. I guess it takes one to know one..then you dare say the Wii is a comprehensive entertainment package too...right because it cant even play DVDs. It must be because its soooo compact and doesnt get in your way! Not to mention the PS3 is a fucking 15 pound satan testicle in a nice black sleek shell. That thing runs hot, pardon my testicular joke. Yeahh, that ps3 realllyyy is compact, and doesnt clutter the entertainment system as opposed to the 360. Fuck you too sony. Give me some games to play.

And that..is all for now.